An Artist Repressed
A letter by Mia Drake
My mind is a funnel
Oblivion the bowl below
I am spiraling down into depths unknown
I can never stay afloat
I have been drowning for a while now
Can’t keep my head from going under
Water pours in but it’s not water
Opaque and murky
It burns where it touches my eyes
It’s warm as it hits my throat
A numbing type of familiar
I heard it said oblivion is inevitable
I wonder if it’s painless too
My lungs inhale brackish liquid
Will this be the last time?
The final struggle against the unknown
I hope it’s painless down there
Please be painless
I wonder what is down there?
I open my mouth
Let the liquid pour in
And I’m sinking down
But it feels like just maybe
I am floating
I breathe and the air is sweet
Like lavender whispers on my lips
The feeling of flying too close to the sun
A lazy river in late July
Water that soothes instead of drowns
It’s something I’ve never known
If I could do it all again
I don’t think I would fight it
Wouldn’t scramble to float
In that suffocating depth
I would dive in
Propel myself down
Into oblivion
That great unknown