I love daytime. When I walk out into the light, the world unfurls, and I am propelled by a breath I didn’t know I’d been holding. I don’t worry too much about where I’m going.
When night falls, I suspend too. My thoughts are slow to rise, but they look like this: me waiting the world to be put back on its axis, for a star to give me a sign – for The Right Moment; my frozen face flashing across a Zoom graduation screen, counting down the expiration of my adult free trial.
It’s dark so I never see the road, but I always feel my reflection staring back. Over time, I’ve learned to talk to her. I wonder about her day. I hope that she’ll be stronger for tomorrow, and I try to forgive her when she fails to promise me. When I exhaust everything else, I ask: what happens next?
I keep holding my breath, but she never answers. She disappears at dawn.
I exhale. I move when the sun rises.